Thursday
April 25, 2024 
This isn’t the column I planned for this week. However, Christmas is in three days, and we should mention it. Done. It’s at this moment that I’m tempted to just continue with the column I had planned for this week, but I just can’t. It’s so rare we get sparkled on. We must dance in the fairy dust.
So much of the wisdom we attain, too often, comes too late. The best way to gain knowledge before it’s too late is to get it from someone else, but sadly, when we’re young, we don’t listen. When we’re old, our audience won’t listen; they don’t think they need to.
It’s a cycle that’s counterproductive. Those who try to share their knowledge and experience know it isn’t easy. Still, just in case, I’m sharing the lessons of the holidays, which can save anyone the delay that just may be received in time to be useful.
Most importantly, holidays are tough; don’t make them tougher. We all wish we could be the one to give someone, or everyone, that special gift to set their holiday on fire. Usually that doesn’t happen. The reality is that they either got it already, got one in a better color, it doesn’t fit, or, worst of all, they didn’t know they wanted it because they really didn’t want it. It’s okay to try, but it’s best to be prepared for their disappointment or yours, or to be prepared for a lukewarm response and a return. Let it happen and be gracious; otherwise, go with a gift certificate, cash, or take tips from their wish list.
Yes, wish lists – they are great. True, there are no surprises, but that’s okay. Our loved ones get exactly what they want and we get to throw away the receipts. Everything is the right item; it fits; it’s the right color and, if it’s functional instead of glamorous, well, that means they not only wanted it, they also needed it. Goody.
Next: Decorating; it should be fun. We talked about this two weeks ago when I shared some great tips from my never-ending, upcoming … someday … book on Christmas. Organization is key, along with music, and time. Have a sensible time schedule and stick to it, even if that means skipping a lovely, off-the-cuff holiday breakfast with your besties. This is not the season to stress.
My kids used to tell me not to worry about doing a “Martha Stewart” Christmas. They were right always, but I wasn’t ready until I was ready. So, I took their advice and saved it for when I was ready to bypass the high formalities. We all should. If our rooms are filled with joy and love, even if we miss the “hard-core” decorations and trimmings in every room, it’s still a warm and wonderful day. Besides, if mama ain’t happy … ain’t nobody happy. So, don’t create a magical environment at the cost of a magical day. Everyday dishes, buffet style are just as pleasant as the china by candlelight. Do what makes the day happy; gorgeous and glowing doesn’t count if everyone is stressed.
Also, let others help. I’m a control freak from “c” to “k,” but I’m learning to let go in order to enhance the joy of my family. If every little thing isn’t Hallmark Christmas Special ready, that’s okay. We can holler for someone to pick up the slack in the kitchen and chit chat while you work. When I was young, I wanted every detail a specific way, and I had the energy to do it. Now, we all pitch in and actually have more time together. Letting it all go to pot isn’t what we’re advocating but, anywhere we need or want to, we can modify to create and keep a softer, more heartwarming memory for our special days.
Now, just to be honest, I must admit that the two holiday seasons we were all in Covid lockdown and no one came and no one went, I really didn’t have a problem with any minimization. Good. Even I thought I was ready.
This year, we’re back to normal. All my children and grandies will be here for Christmas. I’m still chilled, but suddenly not with all minimizations. My darling daughter helped with the new minimum decorations. Then, she had to keep me from pulling out all the stops at the last minute.
I was ready, but not really. I’m thinking, maybe next year …
It’s okay if you want to chuckle.
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