On occasion, as people expound on things they find interesting, it’s not uncommon for some of us to, possibly, end up feeling like we’re from the shallow end of the gene pool. It happens. It needn’t.
We should take heart because, despite any insecurity we may feel while others pontificate, no one knows everything about anything. No one even knows something about everything. However, we all know more than someone else about a few things, for sure.
In certain conversations, we may come up short on information, and that’s just normal. Nearly no one is knowledgeable about subjects that never interested them, and none of us can compete with an aficionado or major fan on their topic of interest. However, we all have something of much interest to say when our strong suit is on tap.
I wasn’t blessed with one of those steel-trap memories (Chattereaders know all about my Post-It waterfalls). I never realized how bad it was until I resolved to read all of Jane Austen’s novels. I cried when I couldn’t remember a single character’s name from “Northanger Abbey” by the time I started “Pride and Prejudice,” just a few days later. No wonder I keep losing my car keys.
It depressed me, but there are worse things to endure than a truncated short-term memory and, it’s important that we remember we’re never alone in anything. It is, however, one of the reasons I don’t read as much as I should. For others of us who aren’t avid readers, it may be the same, or it may be because reading isn’t as enjoyable as other pastimes, or we just don’t have enough free time. Again, it’s disappointing to us, perhaps, but needn’t be critical.
I’ve often mentioned that my husband reads unceasingly; he also remembers nearly everything he reads, which makes eating through books far more pleasurable for him. My children have, luckily, inherited his skills in that area. One of my grandsons is truly blessed; he’s a super fast reader with great recall (I’m not cheering myself up here).
There is, however, good news for all of us who sometimes feel like a raw russet at a smorgasbord. That is: we each have some specific and wonderful gifts. It may not be speed reading or total recall, but we all do have something, and we can each enjoy sharing what we know. The imperative to raising personal morale, when we’re feeling under-informed, is remembering to be modest but confident, and that we, like everyone else, shine when discussing our specific forte. We also should be prepared to be corrected, possibly by someone who hasn’t got a clue. It happens – but conversations should be an amiable exchange, not a competition.
The rest of the good news is that even the people we may believe are brilliant about all things, do have limits. They have certain strengths; some have more than others but, usually, when most people choose to speak, they are speaking because they have something valid to offer. That’s when each individual shines and conversations get really interesting.
Even those who genuinely are broadly experienced and certifiably brilliant are still only human, and most people are suffering at least some of the same insecurities as everyone else. I recently had an exchange with someone I always thought to be fully aware and informed about the topic we had in common. It was quite refreshing when he asked for assistance, only because my raw russet side suddenly realized that even the great ones are fallible, and no one knows it all. It just made me feel less like “Dory.”
People are educated and experienced, but no one is omniscient. Respect where it is due but not so much that we beat ourselves up. The people we believe to be bastions of knowledge about all things may easily discuss a lot but, again, they can’t know it all. Those who are the most fun are the ones who can humorously share a little about many things. It also helps us if we are good listeners (and it’s harder to put our foot in our mouth when our mouth is closed).
We can always learn new things, and learn about the people around us, and that all helps us to realize that we are all always learning – after all, life is a parabola, not a rocket.
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