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Camille Granito Mancuso: Chatterbox

A simple awareness

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As we travel through life we realize that many cultures around the world leave the U.S. in the dust when it comes to attending the elderly, the ill and people with special needs. We can readily see the differences in the attitude toward, and caring and treatment of unique people.
Though young people don’t have the cerebral arsenal they need to make the best choices in any part of life, there are adults who fall short as well. Still, compassion and respect can be taught and learned, thereby superseding the limitations of life experiences or those frontal lobes, which are incomplete until at least age 21.
Beautifully, we have become more aware of uniqueness in the last two generations or so, and that’s a very good thing. Perhaps because of the rise of childhood cancer awareness, the ubiquity of autism and respect of veterans who have been severely injured, we discuss and have become more sensitive to people’s struggles when they are different, unique or compromised. We see a growing trend toward inclusion and understanding today, due to that awareness. It’s long overdue, humanly necessary, and always a joy to behold. We need more of it.
Last night, at a baseball game, at the end of the row, was a young man who clearly had difficulties. The beauty of these angels is that they, themselves, don’t see their limitations. This young fellow was cheering on the team, giving high-fives to passersby, introducing himself and chatting with whoever would engage him … and almost everyone did, including young kids who passed by. His mother was with him and was delighted that he was interacting.
Many years ago, here at Chatterbox, we talked about these angels among us. We all know some special people who enlighten us with their simpler expectations, deeper perception and great hearts. They help us realize our good fortune and, hopefully, remind us to be kinder not only to them, but to everyone. That is, many of us believe, their hallowed purpose in life.
Often, the fortunate ones don’t really see them. We need to be aware so as to ensure that we greet them, that we don’t talk past them as if they aren’t there, or ask other people questions that we could ask them, even if we ultimately learn they are unable to verbally respond. Of course, smiles work anytime, anywhere, and in every language around the world – even in an angel’s private world.

As for the verbiage, there are many descriptives that were cruel decades ago even when they were socially acceptable just because they were all we had. Today, we are more conscious of the language we use and, with so much new information, we understand so much more in detail. We can recognize someone who is simply hearing impaired, blind, or someone whose handicap is only physical as opposed to someone who genuinely has unique needs. Someday, we’ll know and cure even more.
The young boy at the end of the aisle at the baseball game was joyful to be there. He made those around him happy with his joyful spirit and interaction. More importantly, he represented an ability that special needs people didn’t have even two generations ago: He was able to be there, because, not that long ago, few specific conditions of special needs people were specifically diagnosed. Insufficient research often made it impossible for even their parents to have the information needed to take care of their children at home. Special needs people were often institutionalized, and that was almost never a better scenario. Today, we are fortunate to keep our angels among us.
This young boy’s inability to control his limbs periodically could have been caused by any number of physical conditions from autism to neurological disorders, but it simply didn’t matter. He was delighted when anyone, even the little kids, waved and called him by name.
His mother was ecstatic for him to be acknowledged, smiled at instead of stared at, and given some physical contact. Parents of children with special needs, particularly those that result in unique movements or loud sounds, grow accustomed to stares but are always thrilled by pleasant greetings.
Two weeks ago, we talked about the survivors of COVID being the lucky ones. Many of us are lucky for so many reasons, and that makes it our responsibility to be compassionate, and to extend a hand and a happy greeting even when we, usually, might not … especially to the angels among us.


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